That's Not How It Works

It's not as easy as it seems. Things take time, processes need approvals, etc. Nothing is instantaneous.

When it comes to working in a pharmacy, time is an important factor. Prescriptions need to be filled quickly and accurately in order for the company to turn a profit and keep customers happy.

These are a few situations where the only appropriate response from the pharmacy is, "That's not how it works".

Patient (coming through the drive-thru and handing me an empty prescription vial): "Yeah I need a refill."
Me: "Well, you see here where it says 'Refills require authorization'? That means you're out of refills."
Patient: "No my doctor gave me a year's worth of refills."
Me: (after looking it up on the computer): "Yes, he did. 12 months ago. You need a new prescription."

Now, this could go one of two ways. Let's see what happens.

Patient: "Oh, ok. Thank you!" (and drives away)

That is the perfect response from the customer. This customer is apparently responsible enough to call his own doctor and request his own new prescription. He is what we refer to as "smart". But what about the other possible outcome of the situation? Let's take a gander.

"...You need a new prescription."
Patient: "Well, can't you call my doctor?"
Me: "Yes, we can send him a fax."
Patient: "And you'll call me when it's ready?"
Me: "Well, if you want to check back with us maybe tomorrow afternoon and see if we've heard anything by then we may have an answer for you. We make and receive dozens of phone calls all day long."
Patient: "Ugh, fine."

In this particular situation, the patient chose to be what we refer to as a "total and utter douchebag". Look, be responsible for your own shit. Call your own doctor. Keep track of your own refills. It's all on your prescription labels no matter what pharmacy you go to. If you see that you have 1 refill remaining, call your doctor! The pharmacy is responsible for filling and refilling your current ACTIVE prescriptions. Although we do it, we should not have to remind you to fill a prescription or contact your doctor or tell you the directions because you don't want to read.

These last situations are for the people who work in a pharmacy and can relate.

Customer: Yeah uh, my doctor only wrote this Vicodin script for 20 but it's supposed to be for 80. Can you call him?

Customer: Yeah I need a refill.
Me: On which medication?
Customer: Um, I can't pronounce it, ox-oxy-oxycodin-oxycodeine?

Customer: Can I get a refill?
Me: On which medication?
Customer: My Vicodin.
Me: Well you just filled a 30-day supply 2 weeks ago.
Customer: Yeah, uh, I'm going to Mexico.

Me: You have one to drop off?
Customer: Yeah I have 4.
Me: When did you want to pick them up?
Customer: ...Now.